06.27.07
Making it official
You know it’s funny. When twin and I are on it, we’re on it dead on. And when we’re not, we’re completely off. So when she blogged about two months ago that she was in a place in her life where she was as close to being content and at peace as possible, I couldn’t have been further from that place. I was all up in a mental, emotional mess. I knew by then what the source was, but I hadn’t come to grips with it all, because it was logical. Having a healthy mix of being logical and yet very emotional, I was trying to find logic in what I was feeling when all the while there really wasn’t any. What I was dealing with was above me, it was a spiritual feeling that I had to succumb to simply because I knew it really was out of my hands. Once I decided to throw my hands up and “roll with it”, things quickly fell into place.
It didn’t and to this day, it still doesn’t make sense for me to want to leave Atlanta, but that is what I’m facing. I came back from Houston back in April and couldn’t shake the pull that that city had on me. I wasn’t at all comfortable with the feeling. I’m happy and settled here in Atlanta. I have a job, great friends and family, I’m comfortable. So why would I want to leave when I have all of that? But that’s what I was feeling. So much in fact that it threw me into a depression for a number of weeks. I pulled away from everyone who loved me, and I knew that it was obvious. But my people know me, and they gave me my space until I came to them with what I was feeling. And they accepted it, no matter how much it hurts. And they ae now being supportive as I am moving.
I have been offered the perfect position in Houston with a fabulous engineering company. The position is the perfect blend of my work and educational experiences. I truly could not ask for a better opportunity. And so I am taking it. And that takes me and the boy to Houston, where I do have friends and family as well, but its not the same. It’s not my ASB fam. It’s not my Twin. I’m leaving my Twin and it has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Because she is my number 1, 2 and 3. When *ish hits the fan, she holds me up, she hold me down, and she kicks my azz when it needs to be kicked. I love her for supporting me, I love her for putting on the face she’s putting on for me, because if she feels half of what I feel then this transition isn’t going well for her. If I could pack her up and take her too, that’s just what Id do. But of course I can’t. And so, we’ll now be a time zone apart, but I’ll be here to visit, and she will be there to visit me. Because otherwise, everyone around us might go crazy trying to keep us sane.
A lil more emotional than I intended, but I’m moving ya’ll, what do you expect? If you know me and love me, and by some off chance you haven’t gotten the evite, I’m having a going away this weekend. Holla at me for the details.
And yes, that’s why I haven’t been posting in some time. I’ll be back on track soon, I swear!